This one's for you grandpa
Prologue: This post isn’t deliberately intended to hurt anyone. I am merely expressing my feelings of frustration and rage towards certain individuals who cannot quit being stubborn even when a loved one lies cold and dead before them.
Death of a loved one is such a sober experience. Especially if the person has given us lots of good memories. It’s hard to imagine how life would go on without the presence of such a nice soul. I am having such feelings for a reason – my grandpa passed away last week.
And because I am considered as the prodigal one in the family, nobody bothered to inform me. But when a kind guy did remember to call me up with the sad news, I was overwhelmed with sorrow. I very badly wanted to see grandpa one last time. But like everyone else, I cannot simply walk in like that – I had to get permission through proper channels to even attend my grandpa’s funeral. Damn it!
So I contacted the Head Office (my Dad) who asked me to wait until he ‘considered and discussed’ my request with the concerned authority (my Mom). I waited and waited. No response. I tried contacting the HO again – no one attended the call though. After a while HO passed me a message through a mediator conveying that my request had been declined. Wow! What (in)decent way to say ‘No’!
There are some things in life that comes only once – this incident was like that. I wanted to see my grandpa and pay my last respects to him – an unrealized wish I was willing to accept. However, there is something I cannot forget and forgive. I very much wanted to show my son his only great grandpa – at least his mortal remains. That request too went unheard. My son is the only great grandchild in the family. Yet no one felt he needed to be there for the funeral.
So let me say this to the active conductors of the funeral – you could prevent me from seeing grandpa one last time. But how will you wipe away the bond that we share? The blood bond that will keep us connected no matter what. The more you deny this bond, the harder it strikes back.
And grandpa, wherever you are, let me tell you how much I grieve your loss and how precious you were. You will always remain close to my heart. I could not tell you all this one last time. So let me eternalize your loss on my blog. Love you. Goodbye grandpa.
Death of a loved one is such a sober experience. Especially if the person has given us lots of good memories. It’s hard to imagine how life would go on without the presence of such a nice soul. I am having such feelings for a reason – my grandpa passed away last week.
And because I am considered as the prodigal one in the family, nobody bothered to inform me. But when a kind guy did remember to call me up with the sad news, I was overwhelmed with sorrow. I very badly wanted to see grandpa one last time. But like everyone else, I cannot simply walk in like that – I had to get permission through proper channels to even attend my grandpa’s funeral. Damn it!
So I contacted the Head Office (my Dad) who asked me to wait until he ‘considered and discussed’ my request with the concerned authority (my Mom). I waited and waited. No response. I tried contacting the HO again – no one attended the call though. After a while HO passed me a message through a mediator conveying that my request had been declined. Wow! What (in)decent way to say ‘No’!
There are some things in life that comes only once – this incident was like that. I wanted to see my grandpa and pay my last respects to him – an unrealized wish I was willing to accept. However, there is something I cannot forget and forgive. I very much wanted to show my son his only great grandpa – at least his mortal remains. That request too went unheard. My son is the only great grandchild in the family. Yet no one felt he needed to be there for the funeral.
So let me say this to the active conductors of the funeral – you could prevent me from seeing grandpa one last time. But how will you wipe away the bond that we share? The blood bond that will keep us connected no matter what. The more you deny this bond, the harder it strikes back.
And grandpa, wherever you are, let me tell you how much I grieve your loss and how precious you were. You will always remain close to my heart. I could not tell you all this one last time. So let me eternalize your loss on my blog. Love you. Goodbye grandpa.
Comments
I just went through your short love story. By reading that what I felt is a beautiful portrayal of how to stab your parents from their back. What your parent’s and the people on their side did was right. Here I saw your self boasting of your love story. But let me ask you something what would have your parents went through when you left your family to for guy whom you love? Did you think even 4 a second how much pain would it cause to them, the disgrace u bought to their family in the society…..nothing.
All you thought of was your love. In simple words you was damn selfish. Here you also have written a few about your grandpa who passed away and you are asking that how come your parents don’t allow you to attend that funeral. How can they do that it was you who left them not they. You did all the harm and gave them a lot of pain and you are asking them to forget all that. How could they do that? What I personally feel is that you don’t share any bond with your grandpa or your family if you had you wouldn’t have left them. By not allowing you to attend the funeral they did the right thing and one more thing your son doesn’t have any right to see his grandpa and the reason for that is you.
You might be thinking why did I criticize you like this, the reason is that am also having two daughters and I will also do the same as your parents did if any one of them leaves their home for someone in the name of “love”. What I feel is it is better to have a life without a daughter rather than having one like this sort of mentality. My prayer to god is to keep them away from people like you. All you can do now is pray to god that he doesn’t curse your child for your acts.
Thanks for the heartfelt (yet painfully lengthy) comment.
Firstly, let me (try to) correct your misunderstanding.
Many people consider love as a pasttime that youngsters involve in before finally getting married to someone else. I beg to differ..to me it was something inevitable, something that made my life worth living and something i valued far beyond anything in my life.
I know plenty of girls who fall in love, then marry someone according to their family's wishes, then continue to maintain 'friendship' with the old guy and finally end up in a mess...is that the situation u wanted to see me in???
I never intended to hurt my parents or anyone else for that matter. At the same time, I did not want to give up my dreams and happiness to earn the image of a dutiful, obedient daughter. If falling in love, fighting hard to keep that love alive and scarificing everything I had to attain that love was selfish, then yes my friend i am selfish...
I wud have been an angel in my parents eyes if i had simply cheated the guy i loved and went along with their wishes. But then, do you think it is right on my part to have married someone when i had someone else in my heart and continue cheating him for the rest of my life??? How happy wud i be in a life like that??? How happy wud my parents be if they knew i was unhappy with that relationship??? If something like that happened, that wud have been the 'real' disgrace...
Than about the funeral part, what they gained out of not permitting me to attend might be some satisfaction. But then, they should have stuck to the plan - to keep me away forever. However, within a week, i receieved a call frm my dad saying that he wanted to meet me secretly without the knowlege of my hubby or in laws....if they openly hate me, then why maintain a secret side??? and a woman who leaves home for secret meetings without her hubby's knowledge is called by another name - why did my dad want to give me that image????
My son has every right to see his grandpa. but if the eligibility to attnd to funeral is decided by a person's deeds, belive me, even my dad wud not be eligible to attend that....
Let god keep your daughters safe from 'love'...however if they happen to love someone it wud not be because she came across someone like me and got inspired by my story....it wud be because god's ways are sometimes strange....And that God is not going to curse my innocent child....he knows better than some humans around here...
If god was so cross with me he wud not have given me a decent house to live in, a great job, a loving hubby, caring in laws and a beautiful baby...if ur feelings and right and i have done a grevious offence to the entire humanity, let god take away all this....
But remember, neither you or your hideous attitude to love is going to alter anything in this world, even your daughters' destiny...