Fatherly love
“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection” – Sigmund Freud
Freud obviously knew what he was talking about when he said so.
And from personal experience, I feel a fathers’ protection and presence is not just necessary but absolutely vital for enhancing social skills and gender-specific attributes in kids.
I believe I happen to be so talkative coz my Dad was so. I think I’m creative coz my dad was so. And I know I am positive-minded (again) coz my dad was so. I seem to have absorbed all those qualities from him. (It’s another story that I have also inherited his fiery temper, stubbornness and I-am-always-right attitude!!)
My Dad was an imposing figure and his character was even more imposing. I guess that kept us kids from getting too close with him. But Dad always made sure he was there when we needed him, he knew each of us inside out and he always pretended not to be aware of our latest mischiefs at school.
But all that seems like a looooooong time back…..Now I’m grown-up, married, a mum…And now I get to see another aspect of fatherly love that my hubby – Manu - showers on our son…..
Manu is a real doting father…very intimate with the baby…From the day my son was delivered, Manu has been actively involved in all aspects of caring for the baby…He never seemed to mind sitting up at nights with the wailing baby while I was recuperating from the C-section and trying to catch some sleep!!! Even though he didn’t even know how to pick up a new-born, Manu simply scooped up the baby in whatever way he could without hurting it…
Slowly Manu learnt the art of properly holding a baby, cradling it, rocking it to sleep, sometimes singing a lullaby and (most importantly) changing diapers!!! As the baby grew, so did Manu’s love and enthusiasm to care for the kid….You wouldn’t believe if I said that the baby seemed to recognize Manu long before he realized I was his mum…..
Soon Manu and the baby started playing together…they seemed to be having the time of their lives laughing and trying to knock down each other on the bed…That rough playing is what I think boys prefer…It’s a distinctly different parenting style from mine….While I try to soothe and calm down the baby, Manu likes to excite and stimulate him…
And the result of all that love, care and attention? I’m not sure how to put it down in words…But just take a look at my son’s face when he sees his father come home after work. His face lights up with so much joy and a 100 watt smile as he races to get a bear hug from Dad…It’s as if he hasn’t seen his Dad in ages…Though I get a bit green at that sweet scene, I’m so happy at the rapport they share….
To sum it up, I feel the new breed of fathers redefine traditional concepts of parenting….The trend is more like shared parenting now…And as far as the kids are concerned, they stand to gain as they will have two caring parents who can both take charge.
Freud obviously knew what he was talking about when he said so.
And from personal experience, I feel a fathers’ protection and presence is not just necessary but absolutely vital for enhancing social skills and gender-specific attributes in kids.
I believe I happen to be so talkative coz my Dad was so. I think I’m creative coz my dad was so. And I know I am positive-minded (again) coz my dad was so. I seem to have absorbed all those qualities from him. (It’s another story that I have also inherited his fiery temper, stubbornness and I-am-always-right attitude!!)
My Dad was an imposing figure and his character was even more imposing. I guess that kept us kids from getting too close with him. But Dad always made sure he was there when we needed him, he knew each of us inside out and he always pretended not to be aware of our latest mischiefs at school.
But all that seems like a looooooong time back…..Now I’m grown-up, married, a mum…And now I get to see another aspect of fatherly love that my hubby – Manu - showers on our son…..
Manu is a real doting father…very intimate with the baby…From the day my son was delivered, Manu has been actively involved in all aspects of caring for the baby…He never seemed to mind sitting up at nights with the wailing baby while I was recuperating from the C-section and trying to catch some sleep!!! Even though he didn’t even know how to pick up a new-born, Manu simply scooped up the baby in whatever way he could without hurting it…
Slowly Manu learnt the art of properly holding a baby, cradling it, rocking it to sleep, sometimes singing a lullaby and (most importantly) changing diapers!!! As the baby grew, so did Manu’s love and enthusiasm to care for the kid….You wouldn’t believe if I said that the baby seemed to recognize Manu long before he realized I was his mum…..
Soon Manu and the baby started playing together…they seemed to be having the time of their lives laughing and trying to knock down each other on the bed…That rough playing is what I think boys prefer…It’s a distinctly different parenting style from mine….While I try to soothe and calm down the baby, Manu likes to excite and stimulate him…
And the result of all that love, care and attention? I’m not sure how to put it down in words…But just take a look at my son’s face when he sees his father come home after work. His face lights up with so much joy and a 100 watt smile as he races to get a bear hug from Dad…It’s as if he hasn’t seen his Dad in ages…Though I get a bit green at that sweet scene, I’m so happy at the rapport they share….
To sum it up, I feel the new breed of fathers redefine traditional concepts of parenting….The trend is more like shared parenting now…And as far as the kids are concerned, they stand to gain as they will have two caring parents who can both take charge.
Comments