Ayush – A true gift

Asha wanted to know why I hadn’t posted anything significant about Ayush. She also gave me a dig enquiring if his birth had disappointed me since I had been looking forward to a daughter.

My son is a precious gift from God. So there is no reason to be disappointed about that. In fact, he is extra special to me for another reason. Here’s that untold story…

It was October 2009. Manu and I had been planning for a second baby. From the few subtle symptoms I had been experiencing for some days, I was sure I had conceived. However, I waited till the expected days of periods were well past before breaking the news to Manu. Naturally, he was thrilled.

That evening Manu passed on the good news to his friends while they were in the middle of a party. Around this time, Manu was planning to purchase a new car. His friends too knew about this. When Manu told them that a new baby was on the way, their question was ‘What about the new car?’ Manu replied that the car purchase would now be put on hold since the baby was top priority. But his friends didn’t seem to get the point. They were like ‘How can you say no to a car because of a baby. Why not say no to the baby? You can always have a baby later on. But now is the right time to buy a car.’

 

Though their logic may seem ridiculous, they somehow managed to convince Manu to go forward with the car purchase after having the baby aborted. When Manu informed me about this decision, I was shattered. I did not sleep that night. I didn’t want to let go of my baby at any cost. I kept tossing and turning all night worrying if this would perhaps be the last night for the little one. We were to go to the doctor the next day.

When we arrived at the hospital, the staff informed us that the doctor would be late by 2 hours. I felt it was a God-given chance to try talking to Manu again. But Manu maintained that his friends had a point – desperate situations called for desperate measures.

The doctor arrived. Manu explained matters. She immediately scribbled something on a paper, tore it off and directed me to a room at the far end of the corridor. My fingers wrapped tightly around the piece of paper were trembling as I made my way to the door. I slowly raised my hand to the cold handle of the door and turned back to look at Manu standing a few feet back. Tears were streaming down my face as I told him one last time ‘I don’t want to do this to my baby.’

I seriously don’t know what happened in that instant. Maybe the seriousness of the situation had suddenly dawned on him or perhaps it was the pathetic look on my face, Manu told me the baby didn’t have to go if I wanted it so much. The feeling of sadness that had engulfed me suddenly lifted and I sighed with relief. My baby was gonna live!

For the next 9 months leading up to my delivery, I continued to countdown the days left until I could finally see my little one’s face. Thanks to God’s grace, there was nothing complicated. But little was I to know that another grueling test was just around the corner.

It was the evening of June 30^th 2010. I was in the doctor’s room for my checkup. The baby was due in a week. I informed the doctor about a gripping pain in my legs. She completed the check up and advised me to get admitted right away. The c-section would be performed next morning. I went back home, collected my things and got admitted within a couple of hours.

As the doctor had predicted, the pain worsened at night. It wasn’t contractions. And there was no chance of a normal delivery since the baby’s position wasn’t right. All night I battled the pain. I so badly wanted to see Manu. But he was away on business and would arrive only in the morning. Meanwhile the nurses kept repeating everything was alright and that I would be operated on first as soon as the doc arrived in the morning.

When the pain still hadn’t subsided by early morning, the doctor informed the head nurse to keep monitoring the baby’s movements. It was then I started fearing something was not right. I forgot my pain and began praying for my baby. My Caesarean was scheduled for 11.30 am. But the doc arrived early and started operating at around 8.30 am. Soon they lifted out the little one. But he looked as if he was covered in mud. And he wasn’t crying.

The doctor gave him a small smack on his bottom. Still no cries. Another smack followed – a sharper one. This time he suddenly jerked and out flowed some kind of dark, thick liquid from his nose and mouth. Then came the sound we all had been waiting for – a loud wail.

The doctor then handed him over to the nurses. As the two nurses cleaned him, the doc noticed that the baby was again silent. ‘Why isn’t the baby crying? Let me hear him crying.’ The doc told the nurses. One of the nurses quickly inserted a thin tube into his nose and pulled out more of that liquid. Now that the obstruction was almost gone, Ayush cried out loud and clear, much to the relief of everyone present.

The nurse wrapped him up in a blanket and brought him to me. I gently kissed him on the cheek and watched as the nurse carried him away to the pediatrician. In a few minutes, I was transferred to my room. I eagerly looked around for the baby. ‘He will be here soon.’ Manu assured me. I kept praying that nothing bad turn up in his check up. Thankfully, he was alright. He had swallowed some fluid while in the womb. Now he was okay and breathing well.

When the nurse finally laid him gently beside him, I looked at him for the longest time. Everything that happened in the past 10 months – from the time of conception to the delivery- passed through my mind in fast-forward mode. I closed my eyes and offered my thanks to God for the wonderful gift that lay peacefully sleeping, blissfully unaware of the worries he had already caused me!

Today, Ayush is an extremely naughty one-year old always looking for new ways to pick up fights with his brother. Ayush really is our sunshine, a true gift.