A peek into my future??

 

I saw my future today. In a café, of all places. In a 50-ish woman sitting alone at a table having an ice-cream. I said ‘having’ an ice-cream; not ‘enjoying’ one. There’s a world of difference, you know? When the world seems grey, even an ice-cream fails to cheer you up. 

It was a sad sight. The woman was glancing at other tables, occupied by groups of families, friends, colleagues and so on. Animated chatter and giggles all around, except at her table. And out of the blue, realization hit me like a truck. God, this is me, a few years down the lane!

Working from home as freelance writer has its share of benefits. No dressing up or travelling to work every day. No office politics. No working overtime. I can take up what projects I like and work on it at my own pace. But this also means I have zero connections at the multiple companies where I work. Now, add to this a bunch of people holding steadfast to a patriarchal mindset that dictates women need not have friendships. 

No women tribes, no besties, no hanging out with friends. I am expected to derive happiness and contentment from the mundane tasks of daily living. And this is what all that BS has come to. After 17 years of living in the same place, I don’t have a person I could call my friend. I guess it doesn’t really get to me since I currently have the company of my kids. But for how long? They’ll soon leave the nest. What do I do then? 

All these questions flooded my mind in a span of few seconds (being the overthinker that I am) and managed to send me tumbling down into anguish and despair. Will I be like that woman? Wandering all alone? A perpetual frown adorning the face?  Unable to relish an ice-cream? Obviously, I didn’t want to be her. This seemed to be a wake-up call. And did I wake up? I’ll tell you that in a few days…